Aquaman

THE Aquaman

Aquaman, the super friend that we have all heard about but know little of. What are his powers? Where did he come from? How does he fight crime? What makes him the super friend that he is? Why does he get no respect in the comic community? All good questions of a rather under-publicized super friend, or in my case, super hero.

If he is a super hero, then what are his super powers? In a word, sub-hydro telepathy. That’s right, he has the ability to communicate with any underwater ally. It could be an entire school of herring or a giant great white shark! Secondly, Aquaman can also breathe underwater with no breathing apparatus whatsoever. He doesn’t even have gills! Can he breathe above water? Of course! He is a super hero! Hence the word "super." Lastly, he has the ability to wear super cool boots and gloves that have fins on them. This allows him to swim super fast underwater. If that isn’t cool enough, if he has to, he can even ride on the back of a dolphin at super fast underwater speed. That is a true skill.

It is now my intention to enlighten you on the traits that allow Aquaman to be considered a super hero. He is super brave. We know this right off the top because he is always swimming in a new part of the sea that he has never seen before and is full of danger. Not only does he swim there, he does it totally oblivious to the fact that he is about to get grabbed by a massive octopus, or that there is a giant squid about to try and eat him. This also brings us to another point of his character, unlike other heroes, he doesn’t always know what to do. Regularly, he is nearly strangled to death because he panics. This gives him an identifiable human trait. Seeing as he is a super hero, we logically know that at the last minute he finds a way to communicate with some friendly fish in the area and they come to the rescue, allowing him to be on his way on a daily swim.

Aquaman did his best to fight crime when it came about on the water. Whenever a super villain came by boat or tried to leave by boat or submarine, he was there with a big ol' lot of fish. Many critics make the argument that Aquaman is a very useless super hero, in all actuality this is untrue. He may not have done as much crime fighting as the other super friends, but he got the assist on the lot of them. The award for most captured super hero goes to Aquaman. This is an interesting situation, however, because when he is kidnapped he is always rescued and the villain gets a major beat down. This therefore gives him the assist when it comes to fighting against villains.

Throughout the existence of Aquaman he has been spit on and laughed at for his very minor contributions to the super friends league. This is preposterous for he is one of the original super heroes that survived the 1950's. He is also known for being the first comic book hero to get married, and also the first to have a child. Being a father requires responsibility for all the doubters out there. Aquaman is a true comic character of character. I hereby announce Aquaman as a true literary super hero.