Marvin Lee Hayes

On Monday, May 20, we received the call that my grandfather, Marvin Lee Hayes, had passed on. My family had travelled to San Diego for my eldest sister’s graduation from college and commissioning into the Navy. We knew that his health had deteriorated, and were in the middle of preparations to fly out to Kansas City to visit him one last time. Unfortunately, we did not accomplish that but we did spend time right then reminiscing about our remembrances of my father’s father. One of my favorite memories of my grandfather contains my father asking him to explain how he had stayed married for over fifty years and had maintained a healthy, happy marriage. That led to a conversation between my siblings and me with our grandfather who started by saying, “The key to having a good marriage is finding someone who has not died.” All of us kids laughed, but he went on to explain that we should have more concern about the heart of a potential mate than the appearance. I have always admired my grandfather for his love of country, love of spouse, and love of God.

At the memorial service, my father talked about my grandfather’s love of country. After three attempts, on April 19, 1941, at the age of seventeen, he had enlisted into the United States Navy. Once Marvin had completed his official training, he received his first orders and proceeded to his first duty station. He first viewed the atrocities of war when his ship, the U.S.S. Enterprise, sailed a day late into port on December 8, 1941, the day after the attack on Pearl Harbor. This started his experiences and service to our country through World War II and later the Korean War. Toward the end of his career in the Navy, my grandfather achieved the rank of Master Chief, one of the first four to receive this rank. Although he retired from the Navy after twenty years of service, his experiences and training remained an integral part of the man as a whole.

While still in the Navy and stationed at Great Lakes Naval base near Chicago, Marvin Hayes met his wife, Betty, on a blind date to the circus. Six months later they committed themselves to each other through sickness and health for the rest of their lives. Almost fifty years later, after retirement from the Navy, a career as a school guidance counselor, four children, grandchildren, and many moves, my grandmother received the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. Despite this diagnosis, my grandfather determined that he would be the one to take care of her. Even several years later, after they had moved into a retirement community and she was placed into a full time care unit, he would come down at five o’clock every morning and spend most of the day with her. He would sing all her favorite songs, mainly old hymns. Even with most of her memory lost, she still remembered the songs she loved and learned as a child and had sung most of her adult life. As adults both of my grandparents loved God which showed in their love of hymns.

Grandpa loved God with all of his heart. In fact, one of his favorite Bible verses was Proverbs 3:5-6: “5Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” My grandfather tried to live that out by reading and studying his Bible daily, faithfully serving others, taking my father and his siblings to church regularly, and adhering to God’s way even when it was not popular. Throughout my grandfather’s life, he spent a great deal of time at the churches he had joined. He held many leadership roles such as: elder, deacon, church treasurer, and others, in several different churches over the years. This showed that others recognized his love of God and adherence to His principles.

Unfortunately for us, the Lord took him home this year. It was a very trying time for me and my family. Even though I miss him, I know that God’s plan will always prevail. Going through tough times is something my grandfather did very well. My grandfather had hero-like qualities such as standing by his wife through the good and bad times, loving God with all his heart, and having a strong love of country. Grandpa Hayes made it his mission to show me and my siblings how to love God with all our hearts and to serve others. Marvin Hayes had a habit of underlining only certain parts of verses, parts that stood out to him, such as Hebrews 13:5: “5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”