Mary Alice Breyer Myers

Thinking back over the major occurrences of my life, I remember a dozen or so people who always stood by me, encouraging me in every endeavor. No matter the event—dance recitals, school concerts, graduations, my wedding, the births of my sons—I have always known my cheering section would be there. To say that I took these people for granted as a young girl is an understatement; their absence was not even a possibility in my imagination. I guess I just assumed that families stand by each other, so I could not imagine mine not supporting me. It never occurred to me that some people face the world alone, without a loving family who help them through all of life’s obstacles. In the last couple of years, I have come to realize that I learned the value of family from one person in particular. My grandmother Mary Alice Breyer Myers taught me more than any other what a woman should be to her family. My Grandma was not a typical hero; she never achieved fame, she possessed no superhuman powers, she did not exert widespread influence over a great number of people. In fact, to most, she might seem just an ordinary person of the working class. But to me, in a world with growing problems, strong families are our first and best defense against every hardship. Thus, people like my Gram who selflessly live their lives through hard work and unwavering dedication to their families deserve the title hero.

Grandma (family snapshot)

Born in a little town in Nebraska in 1930 and growing up during the Great Depression, my Gram understood the value of hard work at a very young age. Her family migrated to Montana when her uncles found work near Townsend. Her grandparents, parents, uncles, and brother, and she loaded all they could—including a small building off their Nebraska homestead—onto the back of a truck and set out to start a new life. She always told the story of riding in the little house on the truck, eating beans out of a can. She lived in Montana the rest of her life, moving from Townsend to Logan to Manard to Livingston to Belgrade. Never escaping the poverty of her childhood, she spent almost her entire life working. She worked very hard, but not at an illustrious career. She waitressed, sold paint, cleaned hospital rooms. Her work did not define who she was, though. She worked because she needed to support her family. As a young woman, she took over the role of bread winner for her younger brother and sisters because her own parents did very little to sustain the family’s resources. Later in life, my Grandmother became the primary income for her own husband and four children because her husband, James Irvin Myers, developed a serious illness that left him bedridden and unable to work. Gram continued to work until she no longer could, but even her own bad health did not stop her from trying to take care of others.

My Gram worked so hard because her concern and love for her family always outweighed any other feelings. She married my Papa in 1951, and never remarried, even though he preceded her in death by 27 years. On her death bed, nearly three decades after her love had died, her dedication to him was still strong, as she spoke of him and finally being reunited with him. Her greatest joy came from the family they had built together—she had 4 children, 8 grandchildren, and 18 great grandchildren. Throughout her entire life, she put family before everything, giving unconditional love to us all. When I was young, my Grandma would scold us for breaking rules or fighting with each other, and we knew if we crossed the line with Gram, we would be in serious trouble. But we also knew the punishment came from her loving us and she would never stop. One of her own children made huge mistakes in his life, mistakes most people would find unforgivable; my Gram continued to support him, almost to a fault. Once when someone criticized his deplorable behavior, Gram told me, “I know he doesn’t amount to much to other people, but he is my son, and I will always love and take care of him.”

Gram’s hard work and her devotion to her family really illustrate the most heroic trait she possessed: her selflessness. From the young age of 15, she proved that she would not put her own desires above those she loved. When she realized that her mother and dad would not provide the things her sisters and brother needed, Gram dropped out of high school and went to work to support them. She always told us that she regretted leaving school her whole life, but she never wanted to see her siblings suffer. They all graduated and went on to lead better lives because Gram made sure of it. Her selflessness continued on throughout her life, illustrated through little gestures of self-sacrifice, like the year she worked a third job picking potatoes just so she would have enough money to buy my mom the expensive doll she wanted for Christmas. My own memories of my Gram overflow with sacrifices, big and small, she made for me. At her funeral, every person who spoke mentioned her placement of others above herself.

As I enumerate the ways my Grandma Mary deserves the title hero, I realize that she did possess near superhuman strength. Her incredible hard work, undying dedication to her family and her steadfast selflessness could not have persisted for all of her 78 years without incredible strength of character. I recall a time a few years ago when I stood in the kitchen with my Gram, visiting while she prepared a meal for her great grandchildren. Fascinated by her stories of her life as a girl on the “Poor Farm” in Townsend, I suggested that we write her memories down to share with future generations. She simply laughed and said, “No one would want to read that. All I’ve done is take care of my people.” She never realized that she was a hero to us. Now when I face a new challenge or important moment in my life and I look to my cheering section, her face is missing from that crowd. I know, as the others touched by this heroic woman know, that her legacy lives on in the strength she gave to us all. Her devotion to her family promoted unconditional love among us, healed many wounds, and gave us hope.