The Case of the Stinky Gas

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Description

When my teacher, Clarissa, shared with me that cows munching a smidge of pink seaweed reduces greenhouse gas emissions by 98%, I was intrigued–especially since I’m a guy and anything to do with passing gas is still a bit funny. And so, I decided to write a funny rhyming poem to let people know the good news about something scientists at CSIRO and Dr. Nicholas Paul’s Seaweed Research Group at Queensland's University of the Sunshine Coast are studying because usually, we only hear bad news about climate change, and that just causes us to feel helpless and depressed. I think humor has the power to get people to laugh and care. The big takeaway from researching this topic and trying to craft a message to arrest people’s attention is that solutions can come from the most unexpected places as pink seaweed is actually an invasive species. I think we need to more often look to Nature for solutions because if Earth’s history were a roll of toilet paper, human history would be the last millimeter on the last square.

Lyrics

The Case of the Stinky Gas

In honor of Dr. Nicholas Paul, CSIRO, and his Seaweed Research Group

There once was a cow who liked to pass gas

Every time his butt blasted, he felt badass

He knew he shouldn’t do it; his stinky gas was warming the air

His methane farts were 28 times more potent than a carbon dioxide flare

But he was a cheeky cow, so even though livestock blasts are 7% of emissions
He couldn’t help contributing to greenhouse gas munitions

But when he saw how much he was warming the Earth

He couldn’t live with himself and began regretting his birth

But what could he do? He couldn’t hold in his gas

This was becoming a pain in the ass

His thoughts were jumbled; he needed some help

Scientist at Australia's CSIRO gave him some kelp

“Just 0.2% of this pink seaweed in your feed

Is the miracle all humans and cows need

It decreases cow methane emissions by more than 98%

By converting methane into energy with a perfumed scent.”

It’s called Asparagopsis taxiformis and it’s actually an invasive species in some places

But in your gut it won’t leave any traces

And so it is through Nature that so many of our problems can be solved

For that’s how humans can continue to evolve