STORIES
Angels
DONATE

Suzette M. Spence, MA, MFT

by Danielle from Lake Forest

My hero is Suzette M. Spence, MA, MFT. In August 2006, I was not looking for a hero, but I found one in Suzette Spence. I was searching for a professional to assist me in surviving the unimaginable turn that my life had taken. It was difficult to breathe, eat, sleep, think and function remotely close to normal. "Normal," in my mind, was what life was like prior to July 16, 2006.

When my husband Robin and I arrived home from church that warm summer day in July, I sat for a few minutes to read while Robin began calling out for our daughter Kristin, since she was not found to be in her room. As I stood up at his question as to whether Kristin was in the backyard, I was startled to hear his howling and horrified voice yelling for me to call 911. He had discovered our precious 16-year-old daughter hanging from the rafters in our garage. As a result of her recent clinical depression brought on by contact with a 28-year-old Internet predator, and a change in anti-depressants, our only daughter passed away by her own hand.

With the finality of death unknown to us at that moment, our 17-year-old son and Robin began to give Kristin CPR, as I frantically cried for emergency personnel to hurry in their arrival to our home. I saw my baby's face when they placed her on the carpet in the hallway, and noticed that her warmth and color was gone. At that moment, I sensed that I was looking at the face of death. I would not believe anyone that said my Krissy was gone. It would be about another thirty minutes before I was convinced that my sweet, talented, artistic, compassionate, brilliant and beautiful daughter was no longer part of this world. I asked the paramedics why they were leaving without my child on their gurney, and they stared at me with tears in their eyes, but said nothing. At that point, caring rescue personnel that had tried to resuscitate Krissy were forced to show me the EKG print-out with a "flat line," indicating no heartbeat, which finally stopped me from verbalizing my denial. I was stunned and in disbelief. I held my son tightly, repeating "No, no, no, no," over and over again.

After staying up nearly all night and enduring the most powerful thunder and lightning storm in my memory, I woke up to my first day without my daughter in 16 years and 5 weeks. As if I were kicked in my stomach, the cramping and nausea took my breath away, and would be the norm for several months. I was so incredibly distraught emotionally, physically and mentally that I easily slid into, and stayed in, the grief cycle of shock and denial for quite some time.

Through a "gift from God" referral, I found myself sitting in Suzette Spence's office. My therapist "Sue" is incredibly intelligent, kind, compassionate, understanding and knowledgeable. Death of a loved one by suicide causes great distress to those left behind and produces extremely complicated grief. I was not certain that I could survive my new and redefined life with hourly gut wrenching pain...My fear and emotions were overwhelming. With prayer, my husband, son, and Sue's reassurance, compassion, guidance, understanding and direction, I now know I will survive. I also believe with the strength and encouagement Sue has provided, I will go beyond survive to thrive in my healing. I am hopeful to find myself strong enough in the future to inspire and calm numerous other hurting souls that may be overwhelmed with grief.

God often places people in each others lives to do His work and to be a hero. Thank you Suzette Spence for being the hero that God put in my life when I needed to learn how to breathe again. I am forever grateful and thankful for the blessing and privilege of knowing you.

Page created on 2/2/2007 12:00:00 AM

Last edited 2/2/2007 12:00:00 AM

The beliefs, viewpoints and opinions expressed in this hero submission on the website are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the beliefs, viewpoints and opinions of The MY HERO Project and its staff.

Related Links

Childnet International - is a non-profit organisation working with others to “help make the Internet a great and safe place for children”.
Teen Depression: Signs, Symptoms and Getting Help for Teenagers
Kids Health - An article about teen suicide - the warning signs, getting help, and coping with loss.
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - Resources to help people who have experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide.

Extra Info

In memory of our daughter Kristin, I would encourage more education and a greater awareness regarding the illness of depression, and the significant warning signs of a pending suicide that may follow. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for young people between the ages 15-24.