Forgetting to Be Grandpa

Grandpa and meAlexander LyonForgetting to be Grandpa

12Grandpa is gone now
He passed away on my twelfth birthday
I was on a duffy boat ride with my Mom and sister
Oblivious it was Grandpa's last day
Its been four years without Grandpa calling me Charlie
And the chair Grandpa sat on to watch the news sighs alone
Grandma sits at an empty dining table
Her partner of 48 years a bronze bust in a museum
When I pass Grandpas bust, my mind whirls like a propellor
I know I am doing less than I should and I don't know why
I know its not what Grandpa would have done
I wonder if he's up there watching me
And thinking, when is Charlie going to start?
I gave him wings-chicken and otherwise
1 gave him wheels. Hey, I bought mine for $6
1 sit on my bed and ponder how to become what he was
My phone pings. My friend has sent me another funny IG fail
It tugs on me like a fish
It's up to me
Whether I forget again
To be Grandpa

12Grandpa shook my hand as if he were meeting me for the first time
“Charlie?” he asked, peering at me with a slightly puzzled look
A cloud of giggly flutterment brewed inside my heart
“No, I’m Alexander!” I crowed
We chuckled off together to share
A basket of onion rings and chicken tenders
As we tossed bottle caps and Great-Grandma’s knitted coasters
While talking about everything and nothing
To others, Grandpa was a military general and businessman
But to me, he was a fellow kid
The buddy who would squeeze into my toy cars to race
as I held on for dear life on the hood
It was Grandpa for whom my sister and I cooked plastic burgers
As he fit his Air Force General’s body into our playhouse with his head
scrunched against the ceiling
If he wasn’t playing with us, he was watching us play
His eyes waltzing in delight of us
From grandpa I learned the power of play and of laughter
And what it takes to build a palace of heart and stone